Darkest Days

To say the days that followed Lachlans assesment were hard would be an understatement. The thoughts that raced through my head, the times I ran away in my head, the times I wondered why us, why my little boy, I felt robbed, Lachlan being our third was the one I was going to get it all right for, my eldest son Hamish was born when I was 19, I was too young, no matter how ready I thought I was, my daughter Alex I was far more confident and everything came more naturally, so you can see my logic as to why number three should have been a doddle!

I tried initially to hold on to the assesment result which said Lachlan may meet the criteria for Autism because that was not definite, you have to understand that I like most people had very preconceived ideas as to what Autism is, Lachlan wasn’t like that, he loves cuddles, made good eye contact and was trying hard to communicate with us, that couldn’t be Autism could it?

I joined an online support group, those wonderful parents helped me find a way through, they answered my questions, offered kind words, support, made suggestions of things to try, let me rant when I needed to and promised me as a family we would get through those early days, that things would get better, I also learned more about Autism and realised that yes Lachlan was very likely Autistic, all Autistic children are diffrent most nothing like the steryotypical example most of you would automaticaly think of.
I asked a long time friend who works with Autistic children for advice and information, she was kind enough to visit us and help us try and get some basic communication going using pictures.

Lachlan seemed so sad and lonely all the time it was so hard to watch, I wanted to make things better but had no idea where to start.

We told only a few people to begin with, it was so hard as we didn’t know the answers to the questions they would ask or how to deal with some of the responses they gave us.

“Don’t worry he will grow out of it”

“What is the treatment to cure it”

“They never had Autism in my day”

“There is no family history of Autism, how did Lachlan get it?”

“I still had a blankie at 7, look at me I am o.k”

Everyone of those well meant comments cut me like a knife. Everyone so well intended.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s