Autism, Our lives and Autism

Jingle Bells, How far we have come….

Since our holiday in October Lachlan has been coming on in leaps and bounds, I suspect the long-awaited arrival of a bigger weighted vest may be partly responsible.

Speech is coming along most impressively, it is still miles behind other children of the same age but miles ahead of where we started from.  We were in our local tesco last week and Lachlan had great fun shouting out all the names of all the fruit and veg, the other customers must have thought us bizarre parents as we cheered and clapped with every word from the wee man.  We now get sentences more frequently, “biscuit on plate”, “penguin swimming in water”, more amazingly our little conversations are becoming a more regular occurrence,

Lachlan “need iPad”

Mum “why?”

Lachlan “need iplayer”

Mum “what are you going to watch?”

Lachlan “teletubbies”

and

Lachlan “Go outside”

Mum “why?”

Lachlan “moon and stars”

Mum “come on then”

Lachlan “no moon”

Mum “where has the moon gone”

Lachlan “cloudy, clouds”

and

Mum “what did you do at playgroup today?”

Lachlan “build a house”

Mum “what else did you do?”

Lachlan “went outside”

Mum “did you paint today?”

Lachlan “yes” (answered with paint in hair)

and

Lachlan “need a pumpkin”

Mum “why do you need a pumpkin?”

Lachlan “For Halloween”

Mum “Halloween is finished”

Lachlan in the cutest scary voice you ever heard, “Halloween is spoooooooooooooky”

As we head towards Christmas I am nervously excited as this year Lachlan appears to be throwing himself into the festivities quite whole heartedly. He is loving seeing the Christmas trees that are going up around our town, the lights, he is even telling everyone “Merry Christmas” and “Santa bring presents”. It is going to be a very long month with lots of high voltage sensory exposure still to come, the sounds, sights, smells and excitement.  I am quietly confident though that this year Lachlan will take it all in his stride.  At playgroup Lachlan has been learning Jingle Bells, we were at our doctors surgery last week and there is my wee man in the middle of the toys singing from the souls of his feet at full volume, huge grin on his little face “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way”, “fun open sleigh”, “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!” Again onlookers must have thought us mad as Ian, Alex and I  cheered and clapped, instead of telling Lachlan to keep the noise down! It just shows how far Lachlan has come.

It is two years ago yesterday since the day we took Lachlan for that early years assessment where we finally learned the names for all the quirks and struggles with Lachlan; although in our case I now recognise that autism was there from the second Lachlan was born and Lachlan was always behind developmentaly, I still look back on that day as the day autism came to stay.

 

For me despite everything this world has thrown at me, it was one of the hardest days I ever lived through.

 

I remember back to that assessment day and the only comments I made to all the professionals there that day was,

“can we now have speech therapy?”

“just tell me how to make Lachlan happy, please tell me how to stop his pain and suffering,”

If you read my earlier posts, you will see how awful life was for Lachlan and hopeless and helpless those early days were.

I didn’t appreciate then how big challenges to come were going to be, how could I?

That Christmas was the worst Christmas, Lachlan screamed, shook, head banged, teeth ground, was physically sick or just shut down and slept through all our attempts to engage him in any festivities, the sensory overload really was so severe. It was so hard for us all relatives and friends to understand when every present resulted in screaming and shaking and that was while they still had the wrapping paper on never mind trying to open them, in the end we opened them and most were put away for another day, some never to be played with. I still have the photo some would find cute of Lachlan asleep in Annabelle my nan’s dogs bed, taken on Christmas day 2012, Lachlan climbed in and couldn’t be coaxed out, he slept the full day despite having had a good night.

Two years on and we have as a family and as part of a wider team have battled with Lachlan to help Lachlan be the best he can be, we have learnt in depth about autism, communication and communicating, we have learned and understand the sensory world and all the implications it can have for Lachlan, we have learned to look at everything again with fresh eyes, we have learned to listen without using our ears, we have learned to say “why not?” instead of asking “why?”, and we have learned to bend to accommodate all sorts of weird and wacky suggestions, some of which did make the difference; as a family we are no longer afraid of autism and accept it has come to stay and we can’t change that, in some ways I wouldn’t want to change it, as autism is a part of Lachlan it is part of the amazing little person he is.

The question I ask myself all the time,

“Is Lachlan happy?”

The answer,

“Lachlan is the happiest little lad I have ever had the honour to know and I am so full of pride when I tell people he is my son, everyday with Lachlan is a new adventure filled with smiles and laughter and not a single moment is ever dull or boring.”

 

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